Reports confirmed: Cleaveland Does in Fact Rock

I've always heard that Cleveland is kind of a shithole. Last weekend my wife, Mrs. Goat, and I travelled there to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (RRHF from here on out) and, the Browns not withstanding, we found these reports completely unfounded. Through Hotwire we got a nice room for $59 on the 20th floor facing the lake with floor to ceiling windows. From left to right our view took in the Federal Courthouse (all the public buildings are done in that impressive/cheesy classical Greek/Roman architectural style our American friends love so well. It's like Caesar's Palace without the slots), Browns Stadium, the Cleveland Public Auditorium (this one looked so Roman I think I saw Russel Crowe fighting a tiger through the window), the Great Lakes Science Centre, Cleveland City Hall and the RRHF with beautiful Lake Erie in the background.

In the morning we ordered breakfast from room service and as always I was amazed by how inexpensive food is in the States and shocked and a little dismayed by the size of the portions. Mine included two eggs, a mound of home fries, four sausage patties and two pancakes. "Who the hell could eat all this crap," I wondered. I think I figured it out later as I watched my fellow patrons waddle around the RRHF, but I digress. Mrs. Goat ordered french toast which was four huge pieces with some kind of hazelnut, cream cheese concoction sandwiched between them, fresh fruit on the side, juice and a full pot of coffee and the whole mess came to about $30.

Next it was off to the RRHF which was a pleasant 10 minute walk from our hotel. Along the way we passed a giant rubber stamp of the word "Free" donated to the city by BP (perhaps "Death" or "Pollution" might have been a more fitting word, but I doubt it would fly with the Chamber of Commerce), several giant guitars which Mrs. Goat attempted to strum, and Johnny Cash's old tour bus which was on display in the parking lot, but I'll get to that later. 

The RRHF it's self was a dream come true for a music nerd. Imagine exactly how you wanted to decorate your bedroom when you were 17 and you get a general idea. The only bummer for me was that photography was prohibited, but what the hell, you gotta sell the guide books somehow. There's way too much cool stuff to ever list here but these are some of the entries on my personal "Most Gnarly List":  A pair of Hank Williams cowboy boots, Original hand written lyrics to "The Night they Drove Old Dixie Down" by The Band along with Levon Helms mandolin used on the song, A crazy inlaid eight string bass belonging to John Paul Jones, Guitars from Duane Allman, Dicky Betts, Jimmy, B.B. King, Fogerty, Slash and everyone else who ever played a chord that you liked and all the prototypes leading up to the original Gibson Les Paul owned by you guessed it, Les Paul, including one made out of a piece of actual train rail which proved to be a bit heavy, one of Eazy E's black "Above the Law" Caps, DMC's glasses, Slick Rick's eye patch, part of the stage set from Pink Floyd's "The Wall" which was only performed live 21 times and includes a thirty foot tall inflatable alien/teacher, One of Elvis' tricked out Caddys and a couple of his handguns and of course the steel underwear that J-Lo wore on the cover of Rolling Stone.

Don't worry all you Beatlemaniacs and Rolling Stone's fans, there's a shitload of stuff from their garage sales too but I'm trying to point out some of the less obvious items. Interesting side note: judging from their clothing, the Rolling Stones, Beatles and most other rock stars are actually elves, and not the cool sword wielding bastards from "The Lord of the Rings" but those little fuckers who build toys for Santa. Mrs. Goat and Keith Richards could share pants, if, you know, he had all his shots first.

My three favourite displays though were the couch where Jimmy Hendrix would sit as a kid watching TV and practicing the guitar along with a photo of him as a boy riding bikes with a cousin and his hand written lyrics for "Voodoo Chile" and just behind was the last outfit he ever wore on stage. At this point I actually got a little misty eyed and quickly faked an allergy attack..

Next was the Jim Morrison display which included lots of cool "Lizard King" stuff and lyrics ect., but it also had his cub scout uniform (in his review he got 99 out of 100) and report cards (all good) and hand made Valentine's for his mom. It succeeded in showing the human side of the legend and I again pretended to have something in my eye.

The third was a hand written letter to Jan Wenner from Hunter S. Thompson threatening to do some very horrible things if Wenner ever again accused him of stealing cassette tapes from his home, along with the first two typed pages of "Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas with hand written notes. No tears here because I was laughing too hard and I don't think Dr. Thompson would want them anyway.

As you leave, four people at a time can actually get on Johnny Cash's tour bus and check it out. The man in Black's personal ride! That's cool I don't care who you are.

After leaving the RRHF we strolled around Brown's Stadium, mostly to get a photo of me pretending to urinate on it to piss off a friend who is a huge Browns fan. It is a beautiful outdoor stadium though and I'd love to take in a game there some time.

Next we headed over to the Ware House district which is a great neighbourhood full of bars and restaurants for some drinks and dinner and a little bit of live music. I was sad to note that two days after we were leaving Ray Manzerek and Robbie Kreiger were playing together at the "House of Blues"

On Sunday we got up and five and a half hours later were home feeding the cats. I loved the city, the people we met and all the attractions and would recommend it as a weekend getaway for anyone.